Navigating Comments During Postpartum
How to Respond with Grace Welcoming a new baby into the world is one of the most joyous occasions, but the postpartum period may also be one of the most vulnerable. Unfortunately, comments from friends, family, or even strangers can add unnecessary pressure and stress to the new mothers who are already navigating the many emotions that come with having a critter of their own.
In this article, I want to offer some graceful ways to manage the comments that may come.Hosting your feelings.The first step in managing postpartum comments is to host your own feelings. Recognize the emotions, and know that they are normal. You may feel vulnerable, hurt, frustrated, or a combination of these when faced with comments that are less than helpful, sensitive, or understanding.
Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that your emotions are valid.Host of Yourself Setting boundaries during the postpartum period is important for emotional well-being. If someone makes a comment that feels intrusive or inappropriate, don't be afraid to assert your boundaries politely, yet firmly. You might say, "Thank you for your concern, but I'd prefer not to discuss that right now," or "I'm making self-care and my babe my number-one priority right now."Host of others.
There are people in your world who may not be aware that their comments might be impacting you so deeply. It could be a great opportunity to offer a little education about the postpartum protocol and the power of support. For instance, you could gently explain how a certain comment made you feel, why it's unhelpful, and perhaps suggest more sensitive and supportive ways to comment on your new experience.
Host of conversation.If you are in a social situation where you aren't comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings about your postpartum experience, it's okay to steer the conversation to more neutral ground. You could redirect the conversation and say, "Speaking of babies, did I tell you how we chose the baby's name?" or "I feel like lately, my coping method has been all of the funny movies that I can get my hands on; have you seen any good comedies lately?"Redirecting the conversation is not without necessity during your postpartum period.
It gives you an opportunity to protect your own emotional well-being.Yes to support.Navigating postpartum comments as they come can be hard, so it's so important to say "yes" to support from your friends, family members, or professionals. Make sure to share your feelings and experiences with someone whom you trust. Lean on them from time to time, share your highs and lows, and allow them to celebrate in the joys and empathize with the tears.Self-hosting.Most importantly, in your postpartum period, you want to practice self-hosting.
This could involve a lot of things, including prioritizing your emotional well-being and setting the boundaries that are important to you. Practice being kind to yourself, acknowledging your strength and resilience as you embark upon this transformative period in your life.Navigating your postpartum period with grace will require a healthy amount of self-hosting, assertiveness, and compassion. By hosting your feelings, of yourself, of others, and of conversation, and by saying "yes" to support, you can host your postpartum period with ease, grace, and confidence, knowing that you deserve to be supported, validated, and understood as you navigate through the motherhood journey.
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